Mix tape

So in homage to one of my fave bands, The Black Crowes. Here is my Tall mix tape for a cross race. Keep in mind the sage advice of John Cusack from High Fidelity, paraphrased. Start out strong but a little slow. Let them wanting. The take it up a notch, then more again. Then you need to cool it down a little.
Kind of like a cross race. So here goes.
Thorn in my Pride for the warm-up. Chill, smooth, flowing.
Seeing things. Freak and Roll, Live from the Fillmore. On the line, then the crescendo hits.
Kickin' my heart around. By your side. Full gas.
Go Faster. By your side. Doesn't the title say it all?
Sometimes Salvation. Black Crowes Live. Big guitar riffs and pauses like coming out of a corner and the smack is down.
The race is half done. Time to go steady, hard. Like sitting on Blair's wheel.
Let me share the ride. Freak and roll, Live from the Fillmore
Remedy. The Southern Companion... Thirty five minutes in, yeah I need a remedy for what is ailing me.
Then she said my name. By your side. Yes, friends, we hear when you yell our names. It is awesome. When a pretty girl screams your name, woowee. I never thought a love could be like this. Keep yelling.
Less than a lap to go. What Tall tune will I chose? It needs to be rippin', yet calm.
My morning song. Freak & roll, Live from the Fillmore. Strong fast instrumental jam. Passion and powerful lyrics. Background crescendo escalates, like the tension in the last half lap. It keeps going, building, building, higher, higher, stronger, faster. It's a thrill a minute plane ride. It's overtime at ring side, no lie.
See you Saturday.

Don't ask, don't tell or...

putting the "fun" in dysfunctional.
Thanksgiving has come and gone. At least this year was more enjoyable than the great '06 debacle. I was able to see family and friends, eat well, drink a few, hear some tales and generally have a pretty good time. A few interesting observations and recaps in chronological order. Sweet single speed road ride for 2.5 hours. It really is amazing how fun just riding can be.
Wednesday eve the shop crew headed out for some food and drink. Very fun. Great reminiscing was to be had. Very nice to see everyone out having a good ole time. Thursday brought more singlie road action on some roads I have not been on in a great while. Another 2.5 hours in just shorts and a ss jersey. Perfect ride to empty the tank for a Turkey day gorging.
This led to what may have been the Star Chamber of Stubbornness dinner. My grandfather, the king. My Mom, the rightful heir. Myself, the apprentice who may have taken all the wisdom and passive aggressively surpassed the prior generations in "prove me wrongness". Dinner was great, absolutely delectable. The king commenting on too much food. The heir retorting, not to worry there are leftovers. The worthy apprentice smiling inside knowing that I have indeed inherited the kingdom of skills.
Friday brought the whirlwind trip to the bucolic land of dysfunction. A visit with my 95 year old Grammy who is still pretty damn sharp. A dinner with my dad and a Scotch laden visit with my uncles. The fact that my dad does not really speak with his brothers makes this a unsettling visit. My uncles are extremely funny and great people to be around, at least for Eric & I. For my dad, another story. Don't ask, don't tell. As long as every one's head is in the sand, it is all good right? Listening to my Uncle's speak of their exploits was damn funny. Experiencing this while my dad is three miles away refusing to partake is damn uncomfortable. Who knows.
Less than twenty-four hours after the grand depart to Bucolia, we start back. Sometimes I wonder, at what point does this all become yet another bridge I burn and walk away from?
Saturday brought cross race work, bike repairs for sale items and college football. Today brings more cross race work, some riding and finally some much needed computer upgrades. Then two generally unproductive days of work until 100% cross race focus.
I have really hit an ambivalence wall. I am tired. It has been a long and stressful year. I do not feel like going to Nats. I really have not given my race all the attention it needs. Work is unstimulating. Personal life and the hope/chance of meeting anyone is on indefinite hold. Maybe some hot model/cyclist will fall from the sky in the upcoming future. I really need to make some concrete decisions pretty soon.
Off to the course.

Under the cover of daylight 11/20

I made it. There were days where I did not think that I would.
Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of when I backed up the moving truck w/ Gus and moved out of my own house. In the middle of the day, when most everyone is at work, I loaded up the truck. I snuck out of my home, my old neighborhood, and a part of myself.
This is not a post to lay blame, ask forgiveness, say what if, etc... This is a post to say, "I made it." Here I am. I am very different. I am exactly the same. So when I wake up tomorrow I will be thankful what what I experienced. I will be even more thankful for the experiences that are yet to come.

Guest writer

Seeking guest writer for a post or three. Topic can be anything. Your life, my life, their lives whatever. Send an email and I will post, unedited. roadracer35@comcast.net

Big bike game this weekend

Nats comes early in the form of the USGP. I counted thirty guys with top 10 Nats finishes, in the past three years, in my event. There were another ten with race wins besides that. Sweet.
Line up, ride hard, no excuses. We shall see.
Milestone day next week. Alice's restaurant next week. Turkey day with, filling, mashed tates and gravy, mmmm gravy next week. Fun night out next week. Damn, I got some shit rollin'.
Possibility of wearing just one kit to play ALL the bike games in next year. That would be cool. Almost as cool as the team. Who knows maybe I will even, dare I say it, find even more dirt under the rubber?
Business review with my manager tomorrow. Should be easy.

The Eli Lilly big brother health care blues

OK, I realize I have health insurance. I also realize it is pretty good. My gripe is with the process and billing and payment. I just got the bill for my ER visit from the great BMX incident. It was for $341 dollars. Hmmm. My health plan is to pay 100% of all non-admission ER visits. I was not admitted. Therefore buck up, Anthem. I read the bill and see my health plan refuses to pay due to incorrect coding. WTF! It said X-ray & ER visit right on the statement. What irks me is that I now need to file additional paperwork with my insurance. All the while the bill will remain unpaid and if it malingers too long ends up at a collection agency. Guess who gets the nastygram? Me!
To top that I go to re-enroll in my health plan for '08 and i notice small print from "the Colonel". If you fail to enroll benefits will not roll over. You will be reassigned to an HSA account. Whoaaaa Nelly. Since when can someone be reassignd without consent? Is lack of response consent? If someone approaches me and says "I am going to beat the living shit out of you", and I fail to respond in a timely manner am I giving consent to be pummeled? Out of curiousity I decide to compare my present plan and the HSA plan. My deductibel is $200 in and $200 out of network. That is a scam in and of itself. However, the HSA has a $2,000 deductible! No that was not a typo of one too many zero's. It is a full boat $2k deductible. Seems like a bargain huh? Read on. Every single line item for reimbursement was 10%-20% less with this new plan that people must avoid being reassigned to.
This is such an underhanded way to reduce health care expenditure for Lilly. Really the company should be paying people lioke me for being so healthy 99% of the time.
Damn, that got me in a lather today.
Don't let the bastards get you down!

Huffin' like a junkie

The past two days have been big glue fests for my tubular cross tire woes. It all stems back to some bad karma Leech is sending my way. I was all over him for rolling tubies last year. Well I rolled two this year and Hamdiggler rolled my spare front. In my defense my rolls were while using Tufo tape. I am heretofore rescinding my proclamations of love for gluing tape. Do not be lazy. Take the two or three days and enjoy the glue smell. Three coats rim, two coats tire and I am set. Your tires will stay put and your confidence will as well. Now all is well is cross wheel land. The file treads are ready to rock for Beacon. I am debating gluing a second set of carbon wheels for cross. Yes, that may mean an official "give a damn" departure from road race wheels. Nothing says Richard Feldman like two pair of carbon cross wheels. Throw in matching Colnago C-50's and he may as well be in Belgium.

40, thinning gray hair, skinny, never home on weekends: seeks supermodel cyclist

I think that is what my new Match.com "tag line" will be. Since my ex informed me today that my profile is a topic of conversation at her monthly Bunko gathering, I think I am going to go all out and see who I can attract. I will try it out on my loyal readers.
Me: 40, but act like I am MUCH younger. Maybe too young. Hates to travel, unless it is for a bikegame race. Religion is not important, unless I am puking my guts out at Ray & Nancy's wedding & I am praying to God to make it stop. Well read, Velo News, Cycle Sport and the innernet thing. I have never broken a mirror by staring into it. My body is slowly breaking down. Tattooed, probably will get more. Beer is good. Food is good.
Seeking: Really freakin' hot girl. You should probably race bikes, it is basically my life. Let's make it yours as well. Must despise travel also. Your idea of a long trip is three hors by car. Probably should not like the beach either. I get bored and antsy easily. No need to be religious. You may however scream "oh my god, you are great" while in the throws of passion. Be smart, just not smarter than me.

So there it is. My new profile. Seriously, where does one find a good match these days? At what point do I realize, that I am not a model and a girlfriend need not be one either? The bikegame thing is probably a requirement that will stick. Lesson learned. Plus now that I can look at female bikegamers, I realize how hot they are.
Since being thrust into the world of online "dating" I have realized a few things.
1) All the really hot girls are taken
2) Being a cyclist means DIDDLY-POO outside of our naive little cocoon
3) Online dating is predominantly made up of women who are larger than me
4) I have NO idea how to approach women, even online
5) I enjoy my free time
6) The ones who are hot, have two kids
7) Finding an athletic, slender, good looking, single, no kids girl in Central PA is the proverbial needle in a haystack
So to my faithful readers, hook a brutha up. You know a single bikegamer chick, tell her I am available and not an axe murderer.
Don't let the bastards get you down.

"You look happy"

I have actually heard that a few times lately. Well, thanks for noticing, I feel happy as well. Enough that I submitted my app to be considered for LA Ink. We shall see how it goes.

Scott Molina once told me...

...when this all ceases to be fun, that is the day I will walk away.

Frankly, I was shocked!

Wow! Saturday was shocking in so many ways. I will try to remember as much as possible.
I was shocked how much it rained early Saturday.
I was shocked that I did not flip out when the Blazer died. Yes the Blazer died.
I was shocked that I was psyched to race in the rain.
I was shocked that I went wire to wire.
I was shocked the margin was almost 1:30.
I was shocked that the party prep was quick and painless.
I was shocked that I actually did something social.
I was shocked that I actually threw the party.
I was shocked that 27 people attended.
I was shocked that everyone respected the "cotumes required" rule
I was shocked at some of the costumes. Josh in particular.
I was shocked that Josh brought an effin' Rubic's cube to the party.
I was shocked to hear he solved it three seperate times.
I was shocked that Joe Dirtwrecker put his head in an ice water container for only $1.
I was shocked at the amount of alcohol consumed. 1/4 barrel, three cases, 1.5 bottles of rum.
I was shocked at the fun of the great Marshmallow battle.
I was shocked that the hot tub was 105. That was hot.
I was shocked at the whole party.
All in all it was a pretty awesome 24 hours.

Just in time for Halloween

I have been informed by my family doc that I should seek out a diabetic counselor, so that I can make nutrition changes to control my sugars. WTF! Does she not know it is candy season? How can you tell a sweet tooth junkie to stop the sugar intake around Halloween? The glucose & HbA1c are borderline, 126 & 6.2, for the last year. Nothing to worry about now. You just do not want them to increase. Being the good patient that I am. I will consider modulating my sugar intake. The diabetes education seminar is flat out. Spend two hours to hear, eat less sugars, watch your carbs & exercise. Sweet. No pun intended.
On another stellar health note my shoulder seems to be progressively worsening. It is now making popping sounds. I also have the pleasure of shooting pains when making certain arm movements. If I ever get the rest of my body to feel like my legs do right now, watch out.

Happy places & friendly faces

The first weekend of the MAC. So many good friends and acquaintances, there is hardly time to say hello to everyone. Two awesome events by two top notch promoters. Instead of naming names of everyone I was so happy to see and speak with, I will just say there were so many. I do not want to forget or slight anyone.
About a year ago this weekend is when I essentially stopped spending any free time at my own home, before I moved out for good. I left every Friday and came home Sunday night. No heartfelt goodbyes, no meaningful hellos. What a difference a year makes. I have come to grips with where I am at. It was not in my original plans, however I am pretty happy right now. This weekend further cemented that. I love the scene of the MAC, it makes me happy. The people make me happy. Racing my bike makes me happy. Doing well makes me happy. Hell, even rolling a tubie in warm-up did not really faze me. Yes, the MAC is my happy place. A true labor of love. An athletic community like no other. Everyone should be proud of what we have all fostered.
To everyone I spoke with this weekend, thanks for the kind words. Thanks for taking some of your valuable time to share, even if only a minute of it, with me. This weekend truly was my pleasure. To those I missed, I am sorry. I will catch up soon.
Hell, even the strong possibility of a shit day at work tomorrow can not dampen my spirits.
Don't let the bastards get you down.

Words to live by

A good friend sent me a check for stuff I purchased for the MAC. The MAC truly is a bittersweet passion for me. I love the people, the races, racing, the whole vibe. Note I did not say I love promoting. There is so much work and stress, the toll it takes on you is hard to describe unless you are the person who is in charge. Not to digress, that is another post for another day.

Here is a pic of the piece of paper he wrapped the check in. It is now prominently taped above my office desk. Thanks friend. I hope that I am treating your baby well.

Genius, effin' genius

I do not pronounce to be a Thom Torke and/or Radiohead fan. However, today, I converted. In fact I may even "buy" their new release, "In Rainbows". What makes Radiohead a genius band you ask? Today Radiohead officially changed the game of commerce. I do not mean downloading songs. I do not mean the record industry. Radiohead changed commerce as it is known. This example will be written in Economic textbooks in the future. Are you on the edge of your seat yet? Here goes. Radiohead ended their EMI committment in 2005. They are a world famous band without a label. So what do they do? They release their new release over their website. La dee friggin' da you say. What makes this incredible from an economic supply and demand standpoint is this. You, me, them everyone, we name the price that we want to pay for the release. That is correct. Pay what you like. Take it for free, it is yours. Pay the iTunes equivalent of $.99/song for ten songs and it is yours for $9.99. Take a stand and say the man will not bring the artist down and pay $100.
That is what is genius. A loyal fan base will never screw their idol. People will pay for it. Some will pay more than it is worth, like a public radio pledge drive. Some people are cheap and will take it for free. Radiohead says, that is fine.
Think of what Radiohead has done. They have avoided, packaging, shipping, distirbution, lawyers, contracts, artists, stores, labels, EVERY middleman has been removed. The actual record industry has been removed. From a retail support standpoint this is a scary concept.
What truly blows me away is the pricing. We name it! Hell I may even buy the release because I am so impreesed that Radiohead has balls the size of boulders to do this.
Certain actions change history. Without being over the top, I do feel this will change the face of commerce. Not globally, not product or service wide. However in niche market industries, where loyalty and passion play large parts in buying decisions, this concept is great.
Yorke is so out of the box on this that people will not get it. They will say he is a fool, and he may be. I think the fool will be the band who keeps up with the status quo.
There it is my pick for entrepreneur of the year, Radiohead.

It's just lunch

However it was the best one I had in a while. Food, conversation, company, you name it. Very nice. Cafe Fresco is high on the recomendo list. I am looking forward to the the Pan-Asian joint that is going in across the street soon.
Big weekend race-wise for me this weekend. IC Lite & the real deal IC V. I rarely say I am gunning for the win in a race, however this is one where I am gunning for it. IC V has a 40+ category this year & I plan on going head to head w/ Applegate. He is a prior National Champ and prior IC winner outright. My plan is to be on him like white on rice. I am busting out the go big or go home tire selection for Sunday. Vittoria file treads. Yessireebob. I am rocking the files for a road advantage.
Food for thought from the original roughrider, Teddy Roosevelt.
"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rankwith those spirits that neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
An awesome quote, and an equally awesome run-on sentence.
I will dare.

Ohhhhh ffffffffudge

Except he did not say fudge. He said it, the Queen Mother of all swear words. Well actually I am he, and I did not even say it. As Steevo & I were warming up for the Hagerstown cross race yesterday, we happened upon a full-on BMX race track. Being the little kid that I am I could not resist. After a roll through I proceeded to the gates and did a lap. Well, almost a lap. I carried a bit too much speed into what I thought was a large tabletop double. Turns out it was a triple with the unknown bump right in the middle. Strategically placed to catch my front wheel as I aired over the front lip. Keeping in mind we are on cross bikes on a BMX track. Yep, I stacked it hard. I slammed into the third lip with my left shoulder and immediately thought broken collarbone, season is over. Well it is not broken based on my scientific touch test, however the pain is pretty freakin' bad.
Nonetheless let's race our bikes. Race starts a group of nine of us seperate quick. Then down to seven after each FORT guy has mechanicals. Together few some laps and I am thinking man, I can ride the front here. I hold back and keep a rhythm. US Army Gallegher attacks and dangles. Steevo goes after him a few laps later. As he guys I hit the front for a little over a lap to slow down our group of five. Steevo bridges. Long story short, Steevo is a stud and ends up second after some young kid bridges, sits on and then sprints. I feel the pain every time I get out of the saddle. This sucks on the 10 times up a short 42-27 pitch. Eventually NRC road stud Fader drills our group. I rool in 7th. My legs were good, but could not stand. I really feel the shoulder.
Fast forward to now. I did not really sleep because the pain went from dull to excruciating. Add to the fact that I roll around a great deal when I sleep, it was not good. I gave up the battle at 4:45. Yes, I will try to race today. The legs feel great. If the course allows me to stay seated, I will be good. If it has a lot of stnding to accelerate. I am in trouble. As much as my tailbone hurt last week. This is soooo much worse. As a point of reference. It hurts and is a strain to lift a coffee cup, what maybe two pounds.
This one will require a hospital visit later today or tommorow.

Cycling is easy...

...walking is friggin' hard. My hip and calf muscles are blown from walking at Interbike. Lower back is killing as well. Yes, I bet the tourists faired better than I, pain-wise. Lest it be known that Kessel & I walked approximately 10-12 miles on Tuesday, 15ish miles on Wednesday, and another 8-10 on Thursday. Colin what is the TSS score I need to enter for all that shit?
The end result was tiredeness, but not enough to get any real shut-eye on the Thursday red-eye. Got home Friday morning to 2-3 hours sleep & a ton a unpacking and bike work to get some cross bikes rideable.
I finally fell asleep at 11:00 Friday. Two, three hours of sleep in thirty-six. This is where a certain person would be impressed, I slept THIRTEEN straight hours, and woke today at noon. SWEET! Now it is time to go out and see if my 'cross season will happen, or to what extent it will happen.
Coolest thing at Interbike. The homeless guy at the Palazzo. His sign read, "Ninja's killed my father, need money for karate lessons."

At the movies

More on that later.
I had some people over Saturday to christen the new patio, fire pit, and generally have a good ole time. There is something about grilling in 90 degree heat that makes it lose its fun. So as the sun finally set along with Michigan & Notre Dame's seasons, the patio became a very pleasant place to hang.
Quick background, when I purchased my house in May, the owner had already excavated the area to put in a patio. He was transferred before he could finish it. Being that I am the type that knows damn well when I am in over my head, I hired someone to install the paver patio, walkway, firepit & landscaping. It was complete with a week to spare. Saturday was the first time to enjoy it. Enjoy it we did, grilled meats, good beers, nice fire and the coup de gras.
Dogdeball, the movie, was shown at the Hebe drive-in. I was mentioning to my friend's that I have an LCD projector from work that we use for presentations. I can run my laptop through the projector and shine the movie onto a space on my house about 15'x30'. Viola, instant big-screen/theatre size film. Another friend replies, "why don't you just use your neighbors house. There are no windows and you have the whole side of a two-story house. Then & there the Hebe drive-in was born. I set it up and after a brief 2002 Tour of Flanders interlude, we kicked back and watched Dodgeball on my neighbors house. It was awesome. Great friends, and family, food, beer, a little fire going for ambiance.
So they next projects are the infamous Wizard of Oz/Dark side of the moon pairing and maybe the 24 hr Chris Eatough documentary.
Sweet.

Lots of stuff

Hmmm. Lots of stuff since the last post.
I have seem to have found my road legs.
I am excited for cross.
My patio is finished, and it is awesome. Feel free to visit.
The divorce is finally final. Now it is time to take a good long honest look at who and where I am.
I turned 40 today. Happy birthday to me. That means my cross age is 47.
I am having a "Yes I am 40, thank you for being good friends" party Saturday. I can not wait.
My overall health is better. Hopefully the 9/7 appt. confirms that.
I overimbibed at Ray & Nancy's wedding and paid dearly for it.
I had a nice discussion with someone from my past, albeit brief and somewhat sad.
I have said too much at times.
I have bitten my tongue when I should have spoke.
I saw "the girls" last week. They are awesome.
I played with my best little friend, Gabby Miller, yesterday. She is great. I wish I had one just like her.
Vegas is coming up. I am psyched for Interbike.
It is time to Tatt up. Everything is final.
Hobbes is still fat, happy and lazy.
Bruster's is pretty damn good.
I am somewhat excited and ready to meet new people.
I am very scared and somewhat frightened by the same prospect.
I have not had the Blaze for two weeks. I miss her.
I have not had the Impala since Friday, good riddance.
Kia Rondo. Rock band, porn star or rental car? You decide.
Some people close to me have disappointed me with their actions. Not you, Ames.
Some people close to me have surprised me at how much they keep giving and giving.