Yep, I did it today. A new PB on the suckmeter. Christiana RR. I could not finish off the climb to save my life. Am I tired, from Tuesday still? Am I tired from the two prior weeks of antibiotics? Was the fact that my chain would not stay put when I was out of the saddle in my mind? Probably yes to all three. However in this day and age of zero, zip, zilch, it could not have been my responsibility, lack of accountability. I will say that none of the aforementioned issues were the issue. I just plain sucked and gave up. Yep there it is. I feel like shit because I let myself down and I let my teammates down. There were at least fifteen to twenty guys behind me when I pulled the plug with 24 miles to go. I could have easily kept riding to live on to suck again tomorrow. However I could do it no longer. The suckmeter was pegged and the give-a-fuck guage was on "E".
So there you have it. As I said to my buddy Kyle, "it is amazing how a shitty day can really wreak havoc on a fragile mind and make you not want to race."
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