Friday, May 25, 2007

Close your eyes and envision

Chris Farley in the tight leisure suit as Matt the self-help guru from Saturday Night Live. He is speaking with Riis, Zabel, the rest of Telekom, all of MG-Geweiss, Musseuw, Hamilton, Basso, Bartoli, Armstrong, Landis, Meirhagge, Chiotti, F'ing tricky dick Virenque, anyone who ever raced for Festina, Rooks, Theunisse, etc... you get the idea.
So, Farley hikes the pants in the front & the back and starts in on them.
Farley: La De Freakin' Da, you all doped. No kidding. No you want to confess, boo frakin' hoo be a man.
Group ensemble: sorry Matt we thought it was time to come clean.
Farley: (Incredulously) Clean, clean, what in the name of God's green earth do you mean clean.
Ensemble yet again: (Sheepishly) Well we, uhh, you know, uhh for the better...
Farley: (Hikes the pants from the front and the back) You are all freakin' girls! You are all freakin' junkie liars. You know where junkie liars end up.
Ensemble: (quizzically puzzled blank stare) Riis, Holm and Aldag meekly reply "Team directors"
Farley: NO!!!! YOU END UP LIVING IN A VAN, UNDER THE BRIDGE, DOWN BY THE RIVER!

Fade out as Farley pratfalls into a row of Cervelo & Giant bikes.

There was never an intention to come clean until the heat turns up. I guess that means Hamilton & Armstrong are truly pathological.

All apologies to the great SNL skit writers.

2 comments:

dk said...

I don't know what Hamilton is waiting for or Floyd for that matter but my guess is LA has waaay too much business/sponsorships/endorsement dollars at stake to fess up. Wait another 5-10 years or so when all that dries up and no one cares and he needs to sell a book/movie script and maybe, just maybe....

The funny thing is this; I actually consider myself a fan of LA/Postal/Disco. I rooted for him. For the team. Still do. To the point you've been making all along, I don't believe for an instant he, or Tyler, or Floyd, or Ivan, or blaah blaah blaah, was clean nor do I care. I was and remain entertained.

Your Friendly Neighborhood HR Dude said...

very well done.

basically ruined pro euro cycling.

they are all guilty. who'd that Matt DeCano was right.