Fragile

Most things in life really are, however since this is my bullypulpit I will focus on a few that affected me this weekend.
Relationships
Mindset
Form, for all you cycling geeks

Relationships. Actually this is the one where my fragile mind is rather at ease. I am however very disappointed in myself for a lack of Anniversary surprise or gift for Ames. It is our twelve year anniversary, and I hate to say it, it was another day. Some may feel that is callous or uncaring, some may see it a little like me. In that, I see the day as expected. I do not love Ames any more or less today than I did yesterday or tomorrow. However I should have at least done something. Especially when she got me two very heartfelt gifts. Walk the Line DVD & the accompanying soundtrack. I enjoy the Man in Black and I enjoyed the movie. It was an extremely thoughful gift. I on the other hand got a card. "I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen!" well not as bad as that, but still somewhat schlepish. We did go to a great dinner at the Accomac Inn in Wrightsville, courtesy of Cal. It was superb.

Mindest. This gets tricky. Those who know me, know that if I experience any doubt about something, it is not good. I start to second guess things left & right. Right now work is very unrewarding, but I am encumbered by a pretty nice set of golden handcuffs. I enjoy my job, when I get to actually see and speak with physicians and have meaningful discussions with them. Lately they are few and far between. So I wonder a great deal, when it was that I actually sold my soul for cold hard cash? Would I be any happier doing something else for less money. Would a change just lead to more second and third guessing for a fragile mind?

Lastly, Form. This is as it relates to cycling. Well, I sucked this weekend at Strasburg. That is all that I will say. I was humiliated and embarrased with my performance or lack thereof. So form is a tricky thing with cyclists, some time you think you have it you suck. Sometimes you feel shitty and viola you have a nice race. Finicky.
After little rest from cross, maybe that is the issue, I have put in 2,400 miles since Christmas. All power markers from 5 sec through 10 minutes are at or better than last year's best numbers. Yeah, I thought I was on track. Well, maybe I was digging so hard, I dug too deep. After looking at my last two weeks data again, of which I was so proud of not so long ago, I realized 10 of my last 19 rides were high Tempo intensity or greater for the duration of the ride. What does that mean? Basically my fragile training mind said more is better. It was not in this case. Hopefully a week off will be what the doctor ordered.
Kudos to Geronimo, Miller & Trdina for their Strasburg efforts. Trdina is one damn good rder that does not get near the credit he deserves. That is a shame. Godd dude, funny as shit, good racer.
Sopranos time.
Later
Lastly